The Witness
by Artemidora
Summary: Parvati recounts Hermione's long-term crush on everyone's favorite Professor. Begins during OOtP, later becomes a romance, always narrated by Parvati. Told in short anecdotes. Rating may change, or not. MM/HG.
1. Chapter 1

She thinks nobody knows. Loads of people know.

At least, loads of people have suspected. She gave them good reason to, ever since our first year, always mooning over her. Professor McGonagall says this, Professor McGonagall did that. Really now, it was quite intolerable sharing a living space with her.

No, I'm being harsh. It wasn't all that noticeable after our second year. I think she figured that people might be getting wise to her little crush, and nothing embarrassed her so much as the thought that her One True Love might find out. So she hushed up some. It's not as if I ever heard her wonder about the Professor's relationship status even in her talkative days, but now more than ever she kept her musings strictly to quips from class - and she made sure to talk about other Professors as well.

People pestered Lav and me. Wanted to know if our roommate really was a Lesbian. How horrible for us, having to live with the gay one. Can't they just put her in the boys' dormitory?, they sympathised. Really, though, even if she did fancy girls, Lav and I would never worry about changing in front of her. We were much too young for her taste.

We wanted to investigate the rumor, because we were right sick of the questioning by the fifth year. So we started staying up at night; she was a notorious sleep-talker. Well, really notorious only to Lav and me. She mumbled to herself most nights, but once a week, thereabouts, she would sit bolt upright and ask, loudly, "What time is it?" or some other inane question. Effectively waking us up. Then she'd fall back down on her bed and kip some more. The only times we'd really gotten sleep were when she was out of the room for an extended period, like that time second year when she got Petrified. We hoped that her little habit would reveal the inner workings of Little Miss Perfection, and maybe some deep secrets as well, but mostly it was just nonsense syllables.

Then, quite suddenly, our luck changed. One night, as she made her usual rounds of "mmmf" and "bleg," a word came out. Just one. "Minerva."

We could have heard wrong. It could have meant anything. But it didn't. It meant her, Minerva McGonagall, the One True Love of one Hermione Granger. Or Miss Granger, as she undoubtedly prefers to be called. Probably calls herself that when she's alone in her knickers.

Certainly this little phenomenon required further investigation.


	2. Chapter 2

A fortnight later, thereabouts, we heard it again. "mmMinerva..."

Lav and I had planned what to do the next time she said it. It was going to be tricky, but the sheer deliciousness overcame my nerves, as well as the fear of waking her up. It was a little stunt that would prove well worth the while.

I put on my best strict voice. "Miss Granger."

She mumbled some more, tossing around a bit in her bed. The rustling was audible even through Hermione's thick curtains. Then she made a groaning sort of sound, followed by a high-pitched sigh. I decided it was my turn again.

"Miss Granger, that really isn't appropriate." My curt words were greeted with a coy giggle, the likes of which may never have escaped Hermione's throat before, as well as more rustling. I decided to go all in.

"Oh! Miss Granger..." I tried, twisting my voice from demure shock to pleasure.

At this, she made several enthusiastic noises, and that elusive "Minerva" seemed to make another appearance amid the nonsense. This seemed like a good time to pack it in, so I turned to Lav and nodded with a thumbs-up to signal the mission's completion. Besides, I couldn't keep my strict voice any longer.

The impending giggles were tearing at my insides, and I could see Lav's shoulders shaking as well. So I cast a _Muffliato!_ on Hermione and we busted our guts laughing.

-=-=-=-

We had the proof we needed. At this point, it was clear that Miss Granger was mad for her Transfiguration Professor. The next day, during Charms, Lav and I wrote to each other under our desks concerning what to do next.

_Seamus has been asking for so long. Now that we know, don't you think it would be all right to tell him?  
__-L  
_  
_I dunno, Lav. Poor Hermione talks in her sleep, and we get to tell the school just because we heard it? I do think it's bloody funny, but what if the Professor catches wind of Hermione's fancy?  
__-P  
_  
_That would mortify her, to be sure. So we shan't tell everyon. But Seamus won't tell, I'll swear to it.  
-L_

_____That's rich._  
_Do as you will.  
__-P  
_  
So Lav told Seamus what had happened. He agreed that he words did seem incriminating, but she wasn't to be held responsible for things uttered unconsciously.

Before long, though, Dean knew, and then Ginny, and some of the Ravenclaws. Everything was kept pretty well quiet, though - there wasn't a chance Ron or Harry or, Merlin forbid, Professor McGonagall would hear of it.

Surely not.


End file.
